* Quickly the Change *

descent down the path to insanity. or rather unSanity.
trip down the memory line
and there is comes

"it comes. and it goes.
all of it. very slowly.
and then very abruptly.
u say it does not make any sense
but then- what does?
i try to ignore the obvious and get stuck in a feedback loop.
i use an excuse to hide my laziness [or rather reluctance?] but it's really just despair. i'm gradually starting [to understand it all].
like an instant past it's not important
except for what u place upon it.
or rather what u place it upon
the present. ever heard that life is a gift? hence we call it the present.
how fucking boring.
so you just sit there and listen to the moment. watching the light and realizing it's only what it seems...
make no asumption.
unless u kno
the first step is to realize that u know nothing..."

and more of the same

"u can run. but u can't hide from the inevitability.
i have this constant fear, not so much a fear as a premonition that the world i understand will fall apart and i will be left alone... more utterly alone than i have ever know. what do you do then?" [for further references see perfect vacuum]
quite simply-run... [why shouldn't you? what's holding you back?]
-my reality
it forces upon me- so for now i have no choice but be
unintelligable.
dont scoff. don't judge
be with me. forever. be. without me.
there is no future
so close to tears..."

and then

"there's always that moment, the time u never expect. that's how u got here to begin with. that's how u got the memories u can't believe when u remember them. [and you can't remember to forget...]
u never know. that's why it hurts...
that's now it ends. without the need to worry. it's all gone like the wind.
and on a whim- u don't care. frankly, i don't give a damn."